Long and boring update of my life

I started my final cycle of training this past week. Police dispatching. For those who may not be aware, my training thus far has been 911 call taking, medical call taking, fire department dispatching, records and information over the radio to the officers training and now this is the final step to becoming a full fledged dispatcher.It can be very frustrating and can go from 0-100 in .3 seconds but I think I'm going to like that channel. At all moments, the thought should be Officer Safety, Officer Safety, Officer Safety. One wrong move or judgment call made by the dispatcher could mean the difference in whether or not an officer goes home to his wife. No pressure. This is by far the most challenging job I've ever had and I still really enjoy it.

In the love life department, I might actually have one. It's with a friend I've had for over 10 years so we're kind of shooting from the hip on the how-tos. It's hard to adjust to a change in the parameters of one's friendship, even if it's to grow into something more. We'll certainly keep working on it but fingers are crossed for us to find our way.

We had a scare this week at the house regarding our dogs; well, 2 out of 3. David left for camping on Friday at about 2pm and when I got home at 3:30, the dogs were not in the backyard. David had gone through the side gate and left the carabiner off the the latch. The one locking mechanism that stands between Xander and his freedom. Xander has a torrid past with lifting that latch and going for an adventure and this time, his partner in crime was none other than David's 10 month old pup, Shasta. Needless to say, I immediately started searching for them. Their most likely destination? The creek and woods near our house. I searched for nearly 3 hours all through those woods and around the neighborhoods near the house and came up with nothing. I put the food down in the back and left the gate open in hopes they would return. I went out, came home around 10 and around 11 I heard whining at the back door. The mischievous mutts had returned!!

Xander, however, was limping. He hurt so much he had tucked his leg under him and would NOT put any weight on it. I checked him out and luckily did not find anything broken, nothing bleeding. We decided to give him a few days to rest it and see what happened before we took him to a vet. I also gave him some prednisone, a corticosteroid that is also an anti-inflammatory I had left over from Kody. (obligatory disclaimer that you should not give medications without a prescription) I'd say shame on me but I'm practically a vet tech with all the practice I had with Kody and I had everything labeled with what it was for. Anywhoo, it seems to have had a positive effect on him because he started to use his leg shortly after it and now only has a limp. He probably just pulled something trying to keep up with the pup and not get her lost.

We had been really concerned because even though we knew Xander would return, we were not sure about Shasta. Would she stick with Xander or strike out on her own? Would she know the way back? With that adventure, the only good thing to come out of it was that those questions were answered. That means less worrying IF this ever happens again.

Blathering on again

Forgive me blogger, for I have erred. It's been _____ since my last post.

I seem to start all of my posts with that sentence. As much time as I spend on a computer at home and at work, I never seem to remember to post. I didn't grow up with a journal and it's not that I don't enjoy writing, I just never seem to get my thoughts in order or have the ability to say what I mean without using the nitty gritty facts and literal words.

I don't want to speak in absolutes but I'm not happy. My outlook on my future is better than it was when I was unemployed but it's still not excellent. Debt, friends, boyfriends (lack thereof), body, and generally not having a direction. I also feel like my personality is missing. I don't know who I am and I'm not sure I ever did. In high school and college, I had a place, I belonged somewhere. After college, I just started to float. I have plenty of things I enjoy doing but I'm not PASSIONATE about anything. People have descriptors. When someone is introduced they say "This is _____, he/she loves ____."

My best friend Chelle is getting married. And moving back to Houston to follow her fiance/husband. Everyone always knew the former would happen eventually. The latter, not so much. I'm not sure what will happen when she leaves. She is obviously the friend I spend the most time with and I don't have too many other friends. I have quite a few acquaintances I thought were friends but I've learned that when leaving it up to the other person, we will never hang out. I don't want friends who "don't mind" if I come along when others are going out. It's a very depressing situation.

Because of this, I spend a lot of time just sitting at home. I can't just go out to a bar and meet people. SURPRISE*** I'm a shy person. If you know me, you're probably thinking, "Yeah right". But seriously. Around strangers, it's no deal. Once I meet someone or are introduced, I open up fairly quickly.

This comes from being insecure about my body. Yup, it comes down to that. Doesn't it always come down to being insecure about something about yourself? For some it's a body quirk, a strange laugh, etc. Mine is that I'm overweight. Hi, I'm Beth and I'm overweight. The first step is admission, so I'm told. The problem is that I didn't see it happening. I was always a big girl growing up but I was athletic. I play soccer. Yes, PLAY, present tense. I thought that since I was athletic, I wouldn't be able to get overweight. They all say that exercise is nearly THE most important part about not being heavy. I see other people who are heavy and just assume that they are lazy and don't get off their asses. My bad. It can come from a slew of other things.

They also say Portion Control. Now, I've been attentive to my portions but I'm still not losing weight. I'm maintaining and that's just as bad in my opinion. I'm stuck. = frustration and depression.

When you are younger, you have a life plan. For girls, it's a "I will marry my college sweetheart by age 25, start having children by age 30" etc. That's how mine started. The former hasn't happened so the latter is looking bleak. I am the only single person in the group of friends that I have. Honestly. = frustration and depression.

Megan's Wedding

So Megan's wedding was amazing. It was at a country club in Lakeway, which is just north of Austin. The bridal party had two condos on the premises so that was great. I spent Thursday night with a friend who lives in Austin. We had a great time out to dinner and experimenting with flavored margaritas. Awesomeness.
Friday, after getting a little lost getting to the country club, the rehearsal went off without a hitch. Megan was a little stressed about a few details. The rehearsal dinner was at James' aunt and uncle's condo. So yummy. The bridal party got a necklace and earring set to wear in the wedding.
We spent Saturday getting our hair and make up done. They were both really well done. With this group of girls, we watched the World Cup game.
The ceremony was beautiful. It was outside and hot but thank goodness there was a strong breeze. Megan's brother gave her away. He just about cried the whole ceremony and certainly did during the Father/Daughter dance that he stood in for and dedicated it to their dad. Everyone was really teary for that.
My speech as Maid of Honor went over well. The cake was tasty and the bride was most definitely gorgeous.
After the wedding, a group of us went out to 6th street. We went to the the Chuggin' Monkey. It was a great weekend and will be glad to see everyone again soon!

Long awaited update!!

Sorry it's been so long since I've given an update. My bad. Here's what's going on with me...

The main thing is that I've been laid off. I'm doing a little bit of work with the US Census Bureau but we're out of work right now so I'm just relying on unemployment money to get me through. I'm applying to pretty much everything I come across for the Dallas, N. Dallas area. I've had a few interviews but nothing has panned out.

Megan has been staying with Chelle and myself for the last month or so. She's working at the Vet Clinic for the summer and crashing on an air mattress in our dining area.

Megan's wedding is coming up real soon. Less than two weeks! It's going to be a great time to see everyone. I have to come up with a speech as I am the Maid of Honor. What to say!?! Wish me luck.

No dating to speak of really. Went on a few with a few but, like my job searches, nothing has panned out.

I'll be going to the family cottage in PA for the 4th of July this year and I'm wicked excited. I haven't been in a few years and I've realized I miss it. Gotta make sure someone will be there.... :)

That's pretty much everything I can think of right now. I'll try to remember to keep up with this this time. :)

I had a dream I got married last night. Whoa. Good thing I couldn't see his face or I might REALLY be freaking out here.

Painful

Goodness gracious, I have not had such a hard crush on a guy in a while. I forgot what it feels like and I don't know how I feel about it. His face is engrained in my memory and his eyes sparkle at me when he's nowhere around. Cheesy, I know. You think you're embarrassed enough for me!? Oh man. I can't go one single day without thinking about him. Among other reasons, one of the streets I drive most on, is his name. Can't I get a break!? No.
What's the worst thing you can do when you have a crush on someone? Start seeing things that give you slivers of hope. Tiny glimmers. You start imagining eye contact holds, hugs that have nothing to do with hello or goodbye, riding with you in your car instead of the other three vehicles going to the same place, or even being concerned if you are joining on a group road trip.

Ugh. He's gorgeous, funny, smart, sweet and perfectly out of my league. Kill me.

The Long-Dack Wedding Weekend

Things are going well. Went to Houston for Shannon and Dack's wedding in Katy and stopped at the island to go to the museum, stick my toes in the sand and have dinner with Brian and Anja at the spot. It was so nice to be back and wash all the hard feelings away with the tide. I miss the guys at the museum.
Friday night I met up with most of the friends going to the wedding at Dave and Busters. That was a lot of fun. Then we (David, Kristine, Zach, Brandon and myself) went and saw The Hangover. Still funny the second time around. Garrett came into town Saturday and we all went to lunch at a place called the Hobbit Cafe. Tasty. Got ready for the wedding and went. The ceremony was outside of a spanish style villa. It was so beautiful. Open bar meant it was like herding cats at the end of the night. lol
It was just such a good weekend that we are all getting together again next weekend in Dime Box, TX. Yes, Dime Box. Garrett's parents have a home there on some acreage so we are gonna party for his birthday. Woot!