Long and boring update of my life

I started my final cycle of training this past week. Police dispatching. For those who may not be aware, my training thus far has been 911 call taking, medical call taking, fire department dispatching, records and information over the radio to the officers training and now this is the final step to becoming a full fledged dispatcher.It can be very frustrating and can go from 0-100 in .3 seconds but I think I'm going to like that channel. At all moments, the thought should be Officer Safety, Officer Safety, Officer Safety. One wrong move or judgment call made by the dispatcher could mean the difference in whether or not an officer goes home to his wife. No pressure. This is by far the most challenging job I've ever had and I still really enjoy it.

In the love life department, I might actually have one. It's with a friend I've had for over 10 years so we're kind of shooting from the hip on the how-tos. It's hard to adjust to a change in the parameters of one's friendship, even if it's to grow into something more. We'll certainly keep working on it but fingers are crossed for us to find our way.

We had a scare this week at the house regarding our dogs; well, 2 out of 3. David left for camping on Friday at about 2pm and when I got home at 3:30, the dogs were not in the backyard. David had gone through the side gate and left the carabiner off the the latch. The one locking mechanism that stands between Xander and his freedom. Xander has a torrid past with lifting that latch and going for an adventure and this time, his partner in crime was none other than David's 10 month old pup, Shasta. Needless to say, I immediately started searching for them. Their most likely destination? The creek and woods near our house. I searched for nearly 3 hours all through those woods and around the neighborhoods near the house and came up with nothing. I put the food down in the back and left the gate open in hopes they would return. I went out, came home around 10 and around 11 I heard whining at the back door. The mischievous mutts had returned!!

Xander, however, was limping. He hurt so much he had tucked his leg under him and would NOT put any weight on it. I checked him out and luckily did not find anything broken, nothing bleeding. We decided to give him a few days to rest it and see what happened before we took him to a vet. I also gave him some prednisone, a corticosteroid that is also an anti-inflammatory I had left over from Kody. (obligatory disclaimer that you should not give medications without a prescription) I'd say shame on me but I'm practically a vet tech with all the practice I had with Kody and I had everything labeled with what it was for. Anywhoo, it seems to have had a positive effect on him because he started to use his leg shortly after it and now only has a limp. He probably just pulled something trying to keep up with the pup and not get her lost.

We had been really concerned because even though we knew Xander would return, we were not sure about Shasta. Would she stick with Xander or strike out on her own? Would she know the way back? With that adventure, the only good thing to come out of it was that those questions were answered. That means less worrying IF this ever happens again.

Blathering on again

Forgive me blogger, for I have erred. It's been _____ since my last post.

I seem to start all of my posts with that sentence. As much time as I spend on a computer at home and at work, I never seem to remember to post. I didn't grow up with a journal and it's not that I don't enjoy writing, I just never seem to get my thoughts in order or have the ability to say what I mean without using the nitty gritty facts and literal words.

I don't want to speak in absolutes but I'm not happy. My outlook on my future is better than it was when I was unemployed but it's still not excellent. Debt, friends, boyfriends (lack thereof), body, and generally not having a direction. I also feel like my personality is missing. I don't know who I am and I'm not sure I ever did. In high school and college, I had a place, I belonged somewhere. After college, I just started to float. I have plenty of things I enjoy doing but I'm not PASSIONATE about anything. People have descriptors. When someone is introduced they say "This is _____, he/she loves ____."

My best friend Chelle is getting married. And moving back to Houston to follow her fiance/husband. Everyone always knew the former would happen eventually. The latter, not so much. I'm not sure what will happen when she leaves. She is obviously the friend I spend the most time with and I don't have too many other friends. I have quite a few acquaintances I thought were friends but I've learned that when leaving it up to the other person, we will never hang out. I don't want friends who "don't mind" if I come along when others are going out. It's a very depressing situation.

Because of this, I spend a lot of time just sitting at home. I can't just go out to a bar and meet people. SURPRISE*** I'm a shy person. If you know me, you're probably thinking, "Yeah right". But seriously. Around strangers, it's no deal. Once I meet someone or are introduced, I open up fairly quickly.

This comes from being insecure about my body. Yup, it comes down to that. Doesn't it always come down to being insecure about something about yourself? For some it's a body quirk, a strange laugh, etc. Mine is that I'm overweight. Hi, I'm Beth and I'm overweight. The first step is admission, so I'm told. The problem is that I didn't see it happening. I was always a big girl growing up but I was athletic. I play soccer. Yes, PLAY, present tense. I thought that since I was athletic, I wouldn't be able to get overweight. They all say that exercise is nearly THE most important part about not being heavy. I see other people who are heavy and just assume that they are lazy and don't get off their asses. My bad. It can come from a slew of other things.

They also say Portion Control. Now, I've been attentive to my portions but I'm still not losing weight. I'm maintaining and that's just as bad in my opinion. I'm stuck. = frustration and depression.

When you are younger, you have a life plan. For girls, it's a "I will marry my college sweetheart by age 25, start having children by age 30" etc. That's how mine started. The former hasn't happened so the latter is looking bleak. I am the only single person in the group of friends that I have. Honestly. = frustration and depression.

Megan's Wedding

So Megan's wedding was amazing. It was at a country club in Lakeway, which is just north of Austin. The bridal party had two condos on the premises so that was great. I spent Thursday night with a friend who lives in Austin. We had a great time out to dinner and experimenting with flavored margaritas. Awesomeness.
Friday, after getting a little lost getting to the country club, the rehearsal went off without a hitch. Megan was a little stressed about a few details. The rehearsal dinner was at James' aunt and uncle's condo. So yummy. The bridal party got a necklace and earring set to wear in the wedding.
We spent Saturday getting our hair and make up done. They were both really well done. With this group of girls, we watched the World Cup game.
The ceremony was beautiful. It was outside and hot but thank goodness there was a strong breeze. Megan's brother gave her away. He just about cried the whole ceremony and certainly did during the Father/Daughter dance that he stood in for and dedicated it to their dad. Everyone was really teary for that.
My speech as Maid of Honor went over well. The cake was tasty and the bride was most definitely gorgeous.
After the wedding, a group of us went out to 6th street. We went to the the Chuggin' Monkey. It was a great weekend and will be glad to see everyone again soon!

Long awaited update!!

Sorry it's been so long since I've given an update. My bad. Here's what's going on with me...

The main thing is that I've been laid off. I'm doing a little bit of work with the US Census Bureau but we're out of work right now so I'm just relying on unemployment money to get me through. I'm applying to pretty much everything I come across for the Dallas, N. Dallas area. I've had a few interviews but nothing has panned out.

Megan has been staying with Chelle and myself for the last month or so. She's working at the Vet Clinic for the summer and crashing on an air mattress in our dining area.

Megan's wedding is coming up real soon. Less than two weeks! It's going to be a great time to see everyone. I have to come up with a speech as I am the Maid of Honor. What to say!?! Wish me luck.

No dating to speak of really. Went on a few with a few but, like my job searches, nothing has panned out.

I'll be going to the family cottage in PA for the 4th of July this year and I'm wicked excited. I haven't been in a few years and I've realized I miss it. Gotta make sure someone will be there.... :)

That's pretty much everything I can think of right now. I'll try to remember to keep up with this this time. :)

I had a dream I got married last night. Whoa. Good thing I couldn't see his face or I might REALLY be freaking out here.

Painful

Goodness gracious, I have not had such a hard crush on a guy in a while. I forgot what it feels like and I don't know how I feel about it. His face is engrained in my memory and his eyes sparkle at me when he's nowhere around. Cheesy, I know. You think you're embarrassed enough for me!? Oh man. I can't go one single day without thinking about him. Among other reasons, one of the streets I drive most on, is his name. Can't I get a break!? No.
What's the worst thing you can do when you have a crush on someone? Start seeing things that give you slivers of hope. Tiny glimmers. You start imagining eye contact holds, hugs that have nothing to do with hello or goodbye, riding with you in your car instead of the other three vehicles going to the same place, or even being concerned if you are joining on a group road trip.

Ugh. He's gorgeous, funny, smart, sweet and perfectly out of my league. Kill me.

The Long-Dack Wedding Weekend

Things are going well. Went to Houston for Shannon and Dack's wedding in Katy and stopped at the island to go to the museum, stick my toes in the sand and have dinner with Brian and Anja at the spot. It was so nice to be back and wash all the hard feelings away with the tide. I miss the guys at the museum.
Friday night I met up with most of the friends going to the wedding at Dave and Busters. That was a lot of fun. Then we (David, Kristine, Zach, Brandon and myself) went and saw The Hangover. Still funny the second time around. Garrett came into town Saturday and we all went to lunch at a place called the Hobbit Cafe. Tasty. Got ready for the wedding and went. The ceremony was outside of a spanish style villa. It was so beautiful. Open bar meant it was like herding cats at the end of the night. lol
It was just such a good weekend that we are all getting together again next weekend in Dime Box, TX. Yes, Dime Box. Garrett's parents have a home there on some acreage so we are gonna party for his birthday. Woot!

Post-move

Ok, it's been a while. I go the job in Dallas at 635 and Hillcrest. My main job is to schedule caregivers for at home assistance to mostly elderly people who hire us to help them stay independent as long they can before they go into a home. It pays a bit better than the museum and it's certainly kept me busy from 8-5 M-F.
I've moved to North Dallas at Arapaho and Preston-ish. It's not a bad sized apartment for a not a bad price. For Dallas. I like it alright. Dad's concerned about my safety, of course, and has offered to take me to a shooting range and give me one of his smaller firearms. I might consider. Kody likes laying on the fireplace bricks.
Strangely, I've moved to Dallas and HAVEN'T seen more of Chelle. Hopefully, that will change. I am now seeing more of Ariel, Audrey and my new favorite person, Preston. He's my most hilarious friend and game for just about anything. (Dead sexy to boot!)
Preston, Ariel and a few others and I went tubing on the Guadalupe this weekend. It was a lot of fun on the car ride down. When we hit the river, it was overcast and sprinkly and the water was freezing to everyone but it was just cold to me. Coolers were packed with beer and Prestongria (sangria for regular people. so tasty!) The river was slow and low so we had to pick up and walk a couple of times but it was all good fun. Crazy drunk girl yelling at her people who left her because she was obnoxious. They hadn't really left her and were, in fact, scattered around her being discreet and definitely not claiming the crazy. lol. We crashed at a hotel in Austin and ate at the Hula Hut which is on Lake Austin. The food was good and the night was just so beautiful.
Tomorrow we are planning a lunch in the park and Kody is coming with us. Fun times.
So that's the new goings on in my latest chapter.

Officially Employed!

Alright, I got the job! I am now the client-caregiver liason and general office floater for a company called AssuraSource. They employ caregivers and social workers for two parts of the company. On one side, they see patients with mental and behavioral issues. This work is not done in office; these social workers travel to homes, living facilities and the occasional McDonalds to see their patients. The side I'll be working on is the Caregiver side. The clients on this side of the business are a range of people from someone needing 24 hour care in home, someone needing a caregiver to cook or grocery shop or someone needing a bath every few days. This is not hospice as it's not done by an RN but a CNA. Family members of the person needing help can call and schedule a caregiver for the tasks necessary. I will be the person scheduling these caregivers and making sure everything goes smoothly.
The pay is better than what I was making at the museum with set hours of 8-5 Mon-Fri. It's in Dallas at 635 and Hillcrest. I will have the potential for salary soon with benefits and such after 3 months depending on performance and such.
I am going to be looking for an apartment in the North Dallas area soon, like, next week.

Job Interviews

I had an interview on Monday with a business in Dallas. I think it went well. It's a basic receptionist position. I got a call today from them, asking me to come back for a second interview. Actually, it's for a different position, which is better pay and more responsibility than just filing and faxing. Crossing my fingers.
Arts and Jazz Fest was awesome. Weather=awesome, music=awesome, food=awesome.

It's been raining all afternoon. Kody needed to pee right as it started pouring and couldn't wait. So he went... and went... and went. Longest pee EVER! He looked so pathetic in the rain came back absolutely soaked. When he got in the house, he just rolled on the rug for 5 minutes trying to dry is face.

Stressin' me out, I need to chill

Newest updates. Kody has strep and staph and taken antibiotics for it but he's still having his regular respiratory issues. The vets want to do a bronchoscopy which is sticking a fiber-optic camera down into his lungs to look at the tissue, accompanied with a "claw thing" to take tissue from his lungs. They really want to figure this thing out. It's over $1,000 dollars to do all this so it's not going to happen soon, if at all. My dilemma is this: the lungs are the most delicate organs in the body and don't recover well at all. Even if we find something, it may not be treatable. I could spend $1,000 to find out he'll have a chronic cough forever. Or I could spend it to possibly cure him of this cough that we've always though would be there. Big dilemma. I've spend a lot of money on this pup; $1,200 in the last month. Do I pay to get to the finish line and stop 5 feet from it?

Stephen Lynchness

So this weekend was fun. Isaac came up and he, Chelle, Genevieve and myself went to see the singing comedian Stephen Lynch. Oh my stars and garters I lOVE HIM!! So funny. I laughed so hard it hurt. He's consistent with that. It was a good weekend.
Next up, Trivia Night Tuesday and Tony Lucca Thursday/dancing. I want Tony Lucca personally, but I might get overruled.

wow, my thought process is skippy tonight

So, it's been a while. Kody's been in and out of the hospital but holding his own. On some steroids to help him be strong enough to breathe on his own. yay. Had a transtrachial wash done to analyze what is in his lungs to get a better idea of how to treat it and we are still waiting final results. Next, if it's not tooooo expensive, would be a endoscopy to biopsy some lung tissue. I think it may be too much though. Fingers crossed we figure out what this is with the wash and culture.

Stephen Lynch next Friday!! Isaac is coming up for it and Chelle, him, myself and one other lucky friend are going. I'm so excited that I think I just peed my pants. False alarm, but still excited! It should be a good weekend.

I didn't go out this weekend. I'm sad for myself. I was getting so good. Maybe I'll actually get to make it to Trivia Night on Tuesday. I hope so.

Want to go camping. Might go, just me and Kody. Chelle has expressed interest and we have expressed interest in heading to Turner Falls. It's a great place to go, even in the heat of summer because the water is always cool.

Still no job, which is frustrating me to the frays of my rope. Target hasn't even called me back. I'm feeling depressed.

Shannon and Dack's wedding in June. I need to reserve a hotel room for that. It's in Katy. It's going to be a lot of fun.

My friend Kym has named me a bridesmaid in her wedding in November. Country. Might be wearing boot-scootin' boots. lol

I'm reading a lot of books but nothing of real substance. Sometimes that's a good thing.
Robert might come visit for Arts and Jazz Fest the last weekend of April. I really love him. One of my favorite people of all time. He has such a great transferrent energy that just by being near him makes you feel better. Awesome friend to have in your arsenal. If he doesn't come up for A&JF, maybe I'll head down to the airshow in Galveston.
On that note, I can't tell one of our friends that he's coming because she'll flip out and get jealous that he's coming for me and not her. And then she'll get suspicious. But is her suspicion valid if we keep it from her? (to ponder later)

Been learning a lot of random facts from Trivia Night and Trivial Pursuit but nothing I can remember the next night. Such a shame.

indescribable feeling

I thought I was over it but it has been brought to my ACUTE attention that that is not the case. I hurt. I can't push it back to the back of my mind anymore. It didn't even hurt this badly before. Just little things will bring it back to my attention and it's been one thing after another this week. Months of nothing and then BAM. I just want the pain to numb. I just want to be numb.
I've been abnormally short tempered with people who don't deserve it.
It shouldn't have meant this much! It didn't! I don't understand and I'm soo pissed off!! So angry that it affected me so much that months later, I'm not over it.
So pissed.

The test results are in...

The vet says that Kody's bloodwork came back clean so NO KIDNEY PROBLEMS!! He's just being affected by the rainy-ness. It's like putting a humidifier in a child's room to help them cough up the phlegm au natural. yay!
March Birthday Madness is hours away! Lasagna, Dr. Horrible, Hot Tub and something to do tomorrow (Six Flags is Plan A).

Don't you hate it when your kid is sick?

My Mr. Man, the Kodester, has been sick the last couple of days. Not really eating or drinking. His hacking, while much better these past few months, has kicked up. His throwing up this morning was from his stomach and not his lungs. I took him to the vet that we have up here. A stool sample was requested so I took him one. It was gold in color and that was concerning to the vet so he took some viles of blood to send to a lab for analysis. Gold is apparently sometimes indicitive of liver problems. =/ He was given some antibiotics and I was sent home with some anti-vomiting medicine. He's been very lethargic and I am, of course, concerned. Luckily I got him to eat some soft foods tonight and he's kept it down so there's progress. I'll update again when I get the results of the bloodwork.

These are the paper faces

As promised, albeit a little late, Masquerade Pictures! We had a lot of fun, even though more fun was had making the masks than attending the party. Everyone looked great and it was a fun time.

Quarter of a Century

So my 25th birthday has come and gone and was pretty uneventful. Big birthday dinner with the fam on Thursday and my dad bought me some rockin' lime green and brown cowboy boots for my dancing nights but they didn't fit so I had to return them. Sadness. I'm going to put that money towards new speakers for my car since they keep going out. Now that I have upgraded my stereo to an ipod capable player, I can do the speakers now without it being just silly.
Today was boring. I was trying to plan something to have friends meet me at the bar or come over to my house and was unsuccessful. Lame. I did, however, end up going to a Star Cinema Grill for dinner and a movie with Ariel, Chelle, Audrey and Ted. Ariel, Audrey and Ted brought my cards, cupcakes, a balloon and a Happy Birthday drape. Yay. The movie was the Watchmen. Not thrilled at all. I wanted to get up and walk out. Not really my cup of tea. There were some clever nuances that I appreciated but all in all, not for me.
Hopefully next weekend, when March Birthday Madness hits at Six Flags, it will just be AWESOME!

Paper faces on parade

On my way to College Station for some much needed Megan time with Chelle! We are going to a masquerade so pictures will ensue!

Puppy update

Kody has picked up some silly quirks while living at my parent's house. lol
1. He hears the ice machine whenever anyone is getting ice from the door of the refridgerator. He runs to the fridge and sits and waits until he is given an ice cube.
1.5. When we had the ice storm, Kody ate the icicles off the table, chairs and whatever else they were on. He turned Bosco onto it too.
2. Dad eats peanuts from a glass jar with a plastic top. When he opens that top, Kody comes running. He likes peanuts.
3. Kody consistently lifts his leg to pee on things. He's a male and I'm so proud.
4. He loves fresh trout. Whole and uncleaned. Head and all.
5. When we were rennovating the garage, we had some hispanic guys working in the house. Kody would bark and bark at them when they came through the house to let us know they were there. Even after he was introduced to them, he still barked. Not the BEWARE, I BITE bark but the YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS AND THESE ARE MY PEOPLE bark.
6. He actually cries when he needs to be let out now. On a side, he doesn't excited or nervous pee anymore.
7. Mom doesn't like Kody to lick her face so, of course, he is sneakiest about licking her. She doesn't invite him to come to her so she can pet him so he is most insistent about going to her whether she likes it or not. It's like he is say, YOU WILL LIKE ME! She loves him.

That's all that I can really think of right now.