I had a dream I got married last night. Whoa. Good thing I couldn't see his face or I might REALLY be freaking out here.

Painful

Goodness gracious, I have not had such a hard crush on a guy in a while. I forgot what it feels like and I don't know how I feel about it. His face is engrained in my memory and his eyes sparkle at me when he's nowhere around. Cheesy, I know. You think you're embarrassed enough for me!? Oh man. I can't go one single day without thinking about him. Among other reasons, one of the streets I drive most on, is his name. Can't I get a break!? No.
What's the worst thing you can do when you have a crush on someone? Start seeing things that give you slivers of hope. Tiny glimmers. You start imagining eye contact holds, hugs that have nothing to do with hello or goodbye, riding with you in your car instead of the other three vehicles going to the same place, or even being concerned if you are joining on a group road trip.

Ugh. He's gorgeous, funny, smart, sweet and perfectly out of my league. Kill me.

The Long-Dack Wedding Weekend

Things are going well. Went to Houston for Shannon and Dack's wedding in Katy and stopped at the island to go to the museum, stick my toes in the sand and have dinner with Brian and Anja at the spot. It was so nice to be back and wash all the hard feelings away with the tide. I miss the guys at the museum.
Friday night I met up with most of the friends going to the wedding at Dave and Busters. That was a lot of fun. Then we (David, Kristine, Zach, Brandon and myself) went and saw The Hangover. Still funny the second time around. Garrett came into town Saturday and we all went to lunch at a place called the Hobbit Cafe. Tasty. Got ready for the wedding and went. The ceremony was outside of a spanish style villa. It was so beautiful. Open bar meant it was like herding cats at the end of the night. lol
It was just such a good weekend that we are all getting together again next weekend in Dime Box, TX. Yes, Dime Box. Garrett's parents have a home there on some acreage so we are gonna party for his birthday. Woot!

Post-move

Ok, it's been a while. I go the job in Dallas at 635 and Hillcrest. My main job is to schedule caregivers for at home assistance to mostly elderly people who hire us to help them stay independent as long they can before they go into a home. It pays a bit better than the museum and it's certainly kept me busy from 8-5 M-F.
I've moved to North Dallas at Arapaho and Preston-ish. It's not a bad sized apartment for a not a bad price. For Dallas. I like it alright. Dad's concerned about my safety, of course, and has offered to take me to a shooting range and give me one of his smaller firearms. I might consider. Kody likes laying on the fireplace bricks.
Strangely, I've moved to Dallas and HAVEN'T seen more of Chelle. Hopefully, that will change. I am now seeing more of Ariel, Audrey and my new favorite person, Preston. He's my most hilarious friend and game for just about anything. (Dead sexy to boot!)
Preston, Ariel and a few others and I went tubing on the Guadalupe this weekend. It was a lot of fun on the car ride down. When we hit the river, it was overcast and sprinkly and the water was freezing to everyone but it was just cold to me. Coolers were packed with beer and Prestongria (sangria for regular people. so tasty!) The river was slow and low so we had to pick up and walk a couple of times but it was all good fun. Crazy drunk girl yelling at her people who left her because she was obnoxious. They hadn't really left her and were, in fact, scattered around her being discreet and definitely not claiming the crazy. lol. We crashed at a hotel in Austin and ate at the Hula Hut which is on Lake Austin. The food was good and the night was just so beautiful.
Tomorrow we are planning a lunch in the park and Kody is coming with us. Fun times.
So that's the new goings on in my latest chapter.

Officially Employed!

Alright, I got the job! I am now the client-caregiver liason and general office floater for a company called AssuraSource. They employ caregivers and social workers for two parts of the company. On one side, they see patients with mental and behavioral issues. This work is not done in office; these social workers travel to homes, living facilities and the occasional McDonalds to see their patients. The side I'll be working on is the Caregiver side. The clients on this side of the business are a range of people from someone needing 24 hour care in home, someone needing a caregiver to cook or grocery shop or someone needing a bath every few days. This is not hospice as it's not done by an RN but a CNA. Family members of the person needing help can call and schedule a caregiver for the tasks necessary. I will be the person scheduling these caregivers and making sure everything goes smoothly.
The pay is better than what I was making at the museum with set hours of 8-5 Mon-Fri. It's in Dallas at 635 and Hillcrest. I will have the potential for salary soon with benefits and such after 3 months depending on performance and such.
I am going to be looking for an apartment in the North Dallas area soon, like, next week.

Job Interviews

I had an interview on Monday with a business in Dallas. I think it went well. It's a basic receptionist position. I got a call today from them, asking me to come back for a second interview. Actually, it's for a different position, which is better pay and more responsibility than just filing and faxing. Crossing my fingers.
Arts and Jazz Fest was awesome. Weather=awesome, music=awesome, food=awesome.

It's been raining all afternoon. Kody needed to pee right as it started pouring and couldn't wait. So he went... and went... and went. Longest pee EVER! He looked so pathetic in the rain came back absolutely soaked. When he got in the house, he just rolled on the rug for 5 minutes trying to dry is face.

Stressin' me out, I need to chill

Newest updates. Kody has strep and staph and taken antibiotics for it but he's still having his regular respiratory issues. The vets want to do a bronchoscopy which is sticking a fiber-optic camera down into his lungs to look at the tissue, accompanied with a "claw thing" to take tissue from his lungs. They really want to figure this thing out. It's over $1,000 dollars to do all this so it's not going to happen soon, if at all. My dilemma is this: the lungs are the most delicate organs in the body and don't recover well at all. Even if we find something, it may not be treatable. I could spend $1,000 to find out he'll have a chronic cough forever. Or I could spend it to possibly cure him of this cough that we've always though would be there. Big dilemma. I've spend a lot of money on this pup; $1,200 in the last month. Do I pay to get to the finish line and stop 5 feet from it?

Stephen Lynchness

So this weekend was fun. Isaac came up and he, Chelle, Genevieve and myself went to see the singing comedian Stephen Lynch. Oh my stars and garters I lOVE HIM!! So funny. I laughed so hard it hurt. He's consistent with that. It was a good weekend.
Next up, Trivia Night Tuesday and Tony Lucca Thursday/dancing. I want Tony Lucca personally, but I might get overruled.

wow, my thought process is skippy tonight

So, it's been a while. Kody's been in and out of the hospital but holding his own. On some steroids to help him be strong enough to breathe on his own. yay. Had a transtrachial wash done to analyze what is in his lungs to get a better idea of how to treat it and we are still waiting final results. Next, if it's not tooooo expensive, would be a endoscopy to biopsy some lung tissue. I think it may be too much though. Fingers crossed we figure out what this is with the wash and culture.

Stephen Lynch next Friday!! Isaac is coming up for it and Chelle, him, myself and one other lucky friend are going. I'm so excited that I think I just peed my pants. False alarm, but still excited! It should be a good weekend.

I didn't go out this weekend. I'm sad for myself. I was getting so good. Maybe I'll actually get to make it to Trivia Night on Tuesday. I hope so.

Want to go camping. Might go, just me and Kody. Chelle has expressed interest and we have expressed interest in heading to Turner Falls. It's a great place to go, even in the heat of summer because the water is always cool.

Still no job, which is frustrating me to the frays of my rope. Target hasn't even called me back. I'm feeling depressed.

Shannon and Dack's wedding in June. I need to reserve a hotel room for that. It's in Katy. It's going to be a lot of fun.

My friend Kym has named me a bridesmaid in her wedding in November. Country. Might be wearing boot-scootin' boots. lol

I'm reading a lot of books but nothing of real substance. Sometimes that's a good thing.
Robert might come visit for Arts and Jazz Fest the last weekend of April. I really love him. One of my favorite people of all time. He has such a great transferrent energy that just by being near him makes you feel better. Awesome friend to have in your arsenal. If he doesn't come up for A&JF, maybe I'll head down to the airshow in Galveston.
On that note, I can't tell one of our friends that he's coming because she'll flip out and get jealous that he's coming for me and not her. And then she'll get suspicious. But is her suspicion valid if we keep it from her? (to ponder later)

Been learning a lot of random facts from Trivia Night and Trivial Pursuit but nothing I can remember the next night. Such a shame.

indescribable feeling

I thought I was over it but it has been brought to my ACUTE attention that that is not the case. I hurt. I can't push it back to the back of my mind anymore. It didn't even hurt this badly before. Just little things will bring it back to my attention and it's been one thing after another this week. Months of nothing and then BAM. I just want the pain to numb. I just want to be numb.
I've been abnormally short tempered with people who don't deserve it.
It shouldn't have meant this much! It didn't! I don't understand and I'm soo pissed off!! So angry that it affected me so much that months later, I'm not over it.
So pissed.

The test results are in...

The vet says that Kody's bloodwork came back clean so NO KIDNEY PROBLEMS!! He's just being affected by the rainy-ness. It's like putting a humidifier in a child's room to help them cough up the phlegm au natural. yay!
March Birthday Madness is hours away! Lasagna, Dr. Horrible, Hot Tub and something to do tomorrow (Six Flags is Plan A).

Don't you hate it when your kid is sick?

My Mr. Man, the Kodester, has been sick the last couple of days. Not really eating or drinking. His hacking, while much better these past few months, has kicked up. His throwing up this morning was from his stomach and not his lungs. I took him to the vet that we have up here. A stool sample was requested so I took him one. It was gold in color and that was concerning to the vet so he took some viles of blood to send to a lab for analysis. Gold is apparently sometimes indicitive of liver problems. =/ He was given some antibiotics and I was sent home with some anti-vomiting medicine. He's been very lethargic and I am, of course, concerned. Luckily I got him to eat some soft foods tonight and he's kept it down so there's progress. I'll update again when I get the results of the bloodwork.

These are the paper faces

As promised, albeit a little late, Masquerade Pictures! We had a lot of fun, even though more fun was had making the masks than attending the party. Everyone looked great and it was a fun time.

Quarter of a Century

So my 25th birthday has come and gone and was pretty uneventful. Big birthday dinner with the fam on Thursday and my dad bought me some rockin' lime green and brown cowboy boots for my dancing nights but they didn't fit so I had to return them. Sadness. I'm going to put that money towards new speakers for my car since they keep going out. Now that I have upgraded my stereo to an ipod capable player, I can do the speakers now without it being just silly.
Today was boring. I was trying to plan something to have friends meet me at the bar or come over to my house and was unsuccessful. Lame. I did, however, end up going to a Star Cinema Grill for dinner and a movie with Ariel, Chelle, Audrey and Ted. Ariel, Audrey and Ted brought my cards, cupcakes, a balloon and a Happy Birthday drape. Yay. The movie was the Watchmen. Not thrilled at all. I wanted to get up and walk out. Not really my cup of tea. There were some clever nuances that I appreciated but all in all, not for me.
Hopefully next weekend, when March Birthday Madness hits at Six Flags, it will just be AWESOME!

Paper faces on parade

On my way to College Station for some much needed Megan time with Chelle! We are going to a masquerade so pictures will ensue!

Puppy update

Kody has picked up some silly quirks while living at my parent's house. lol
1. He hears the ice machine whenever anyone is getting ice from the door of the refridgerator. He runs to the fridge and sits and waits until he is given an ice cube.
1.5. When we had the ice storm, Kody ate the icicles off the table, chairs and whatever else they were on. He turned Bosco onto it too.
2. Dad eats peanuts from a glass jar with a plastic top. When he opens that top, Kody comes running. He likes peanuts.
3. Kody consistently lifts his leg to pee on things. He's a male and I'm so proud.
4. He loves fresh trout. Whole and uncleaned. Head and all.
5. When we were rennovating the garage, we had some hispanic guys working in the house. Kody would bark and bark at them when they came through the house to let us know they were there. Even after he was introduced to them, he still barked. Not the BEWARE, I BITE bark but the YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS AND THESE ARE MY PEOPLE bark.
6. He actually cries when he needs to be let out now. On a side, he doesn't excited or nervous pee anymore.
7. Mom doesn't like Kody to lick her face so, of course, he is sneakiest about licking her. She doesn't invite him to come to her so she can pet him so he is most insistent about going to her whether she likes it or not. It's like he is say, YOU WILL LIKE ME! She loves him.

That's all that I can really think of right now.

Old enough to ride a bike

And this is why I don't like living at home. My activities and whereabouts are accounted for and logged. I can't just get up and go somewhere; it needs to be run by my parents and it's pissing me off. Like I'm not almost 25. Like I don't have plans aside from theirs.
I have a friend in Wichita I would like to see, visit and spend time with, aside from being at the hospital. I would probably be spending the night with this friend (who is male) but I can't do that if I have the only car available for driving to and from the hospital. I can't do that when, were I to not return to the hotel at night, I would get the "shame on you look" and talk afterwards, like I was doing something I shouldn't. First of all, none of their business, second of all I'M nearly 25! What do they think happens!? I know they already assume and they are hippies so it's not a shock to them but it's my mom I get the worst from. I can't be discreet if I don't come back. I was just going to go on my Thursday and spend a few ngihts staying at his place and seeing Uncle Joe during the day. Good, casual plan. NOT IF I'M EXPECTED TO WAIT TO TRAVEL WITH MY MOTHER THIS WEEKEND. and only early Saturday and Sunday. Back on Monday. What if I wanted to stay a few days? I can't because the ride I came with is leaving.

What if I were to get a boyfriend? I couldn't just not come home at night and he certainly couldn't stay until morning where my parents would see his car. Can you say AWKWARD. I need a job so I can move out. Lord, I need to move out.

ICU

I'm at the Wichita hospital Surgical ICU waiting room for Uncle Joe. Things are going okay. He's roughed up but they are certain he will make it. Still in the drug-induced coma. breathing tube. broken everything. *Sigh*

25

I did this a month ago but it's really going around now so I posted it in response to Beachski.

Ok, so there's this 25 random facts BS going around, but maybe it'll be fun. I don't know if I'll make it to 25... Feel free to do this as well, but if you have better things to do, I totally understand.
1. I crush and get crushed very easily.
2. I have no major goals in life nor do I have a specific passion. I like a lot of things but nothing that I LOOOOOOVE and it makes me feel like I bring nothing to the table.
3. People watching is a hobby.
4. I love to read and I read quickly. The hard part is that I don't always read everything on the page. I'll read the first and last sentence of a paragraph, decide if it's interesting enough and then go back if it is. This is all subconsiously done and I didn't realize I did it for a long time. If it has too much scene setting and not enough going on, I'm finished with it in a flash.
5. I love the view from heights but I'm frightened of heights. It's the falling and hitting stuff that freaks me out.
6. I want to sky dive but it would take someone to push me out for me to do. I'd thank that person when I got on the ground.
7. I can be very blunt, sometimes to the point of rudeness.
8. I wish I were a brunette and that my hair would decide if it was curly or straight.
9. I have two tattoos.
10. My dog has cost me in over $2500 in vet bills and I wouldn't have him any other way.
11. I sang the National Anthem at an airshow in front of over 5,000 people.
12. I have Fred Flintstone feet in the way they are wide. Most stores don't carry my size.
13. I was on a bowling league team.
14. I earned my beads at Mardi Gras the proper way.
15. What I want to be when I grow up changes from day to day.
16. My bed is the most fantastic thing on 4 legs.
17. I have only been drunk once in my life. It's not that I don't agree with drinking, I just don't partake a lot. I'll go out and have a couple of drinks but that's usually it. Idon't care for the taste of alcohol or the effects.
18. I have never smoked a cigarette (or any other paraphanalia).
19. I do a lot of stuff on my own, like shopping, because I am too impatient to wait for anyone. I know what I'm looking for and if I don't see it immediately, I'm gone.
20. I shop by touch. This is apparently something I have been doing since I was a tiny child. If it doesn't feel good, I don't get it.
21. Colorado is as far west as I have traveled. Ohio/North, New York/East, and Jamaica/South.
22. My biggest pet peeve is people who say they will call and don't. Male, Female, doesn't matter. Call or text it's not hard but DON'T say you will and then not.
23. I am jealous of only one person.
24. I'm not entirely sure where I stand religiously.
25. I honestly didn't think I'd get to 25. Go me.

Oh Joe

I'm stressing out right now. My Uncle Joe, who just lost his partner of 20+ years, was in a terrible car accident this morning. He hasn't been taking Theron's death well at all and I'm pretty sure he was driving back from the bar. Not confirmed or anything but what else are people doing at 3:30am?
He's pretty bad. His left side is crushed and a rib punctured his lung so he's on a machine. He's in ICU and in and out of conciousness.
My mom's family is on the way! lol Family I haven't seen in a decade because she's a recluse is suddenly popping up like she cares. My mom's family dynamics are for the books, seriously. Such a hodgepodge of personality.
Pray.

Art can be fun, if you make it that way

Thusday night was so much fun! I met Ariel, Audrey and Preston at the Dallas Museum of Art for their Colors exhibit. That's not the real name but I can't remember what it was. It was a strange exhibit where in one showcase there was a spotlight focused on a spinning mirror in a large room. That's it. The coolest was a round standing screen that you step into and colors change and fade and blink. I really liked it. On the other hand, there was one showcase with an electric fan suspended from the ceiling and blowing itself in arcs and circles around the room. Yeah.
We finally got to the painting portion of the museum and I made some snarky comments about one that's frame was really nice and another that looked like a monkey smoking a cigarette. lol Really it did.
After the museum we went to sushi. So good. It's been a long time since I had sushi. Preston is really cute and funny. I thought he might have been gay but is apparently not. lol. Oops. He also graduated from Texas A&M Galveston in 05 with a degree in engineering. I knew he seemed familiar but I hadn't met him before through Ariel so I thought I was just going crazy. I'd seen his face before. Phew. Not crazy.
Then I ditched them for Chelle and Chris at the House of Blues. People watching included some really bad dancing to some really good jazz and blues. After we left the HOB, we went to the Fox and Hound for drinks and pool. I kicked pool ass. Chris is really cute and nice.
Friday, Chelle and I worked at the sanctuary and we did dishes and food distribution. Lots of grinding, scissoring, and weighing horse meat. The muscle in my right arm from scissoring for an hour is killer.

Tomorrow is the Superbowl party!

Baby it (was) cold outside and other happenings

So people in school in Denton/Dallas area got two days off from school because of this ice business. Kody really enjoys ice cubes so he loved breaking off the icicles and chewing them up. Bosco watched him do and started to join in! It was hilarious.
Friday I went and saw Underworld Rise of the Lycans. I liked it well enough. It was on par with the other two movies and entertaining. It does not have Kate Bekinsdale in it but it holds its own. Saturday I went with my parents to see Inkheart. Meh. Not great, not bad. Renter. I applaud movies that get kids interested in reading books. Unicorn. Andy Serkis. Good times.

Kitties

Before I moved to galveston for school, I volunteered at Insync Exotics in Wylie, TX. It's a big cat sanctuary. I'm not talking obese house cats, I'm talking tigers, lions, cougars, leopards, lynxes, and servals. My previous experience there included going on a rescue of two tigers with me staying in the back of a U-Haul with them in cages ( I had a cage for myself, just in case) and hand feeding a 6 week old tiger cub.
Now that I am back in the Metroplex, I have restarted volunteering there and there is so much improvement from the last time I was there. They have doubled their capacity and cat count! I really love it there. Today, I cleaned cages, which means moving cats from cages and scooping and pressure washing the floors. It's dirty work. I gave meat treats to some of the tigers and it's impressive.
Tigers have a greeting called chuffing. They push air through their noses in short blasts. A few tigers aren't that into people but most greet visitors with this chuff. They will rub their face against the fence as they would rub face to face in greeting other tigers. Kshama, the cub that was there when I was there last, has grown huge and is very people friendly. She loves to lay against the fence so you can scratch between the shoulder blades. One of the cougars spent 5 minutes licking my palm and fingerprints off.

There's just something about that place. It feels good to be back.

Just the Beginning

I don't know what I'll write about in this blog, whether it'll be witty, angry or from the heart. I'll tell the truth and it might be too much information. It might be a ponderance or just a snapshot of the day. It may even be interesting. I'll try to keep it posted often enough but no promises.

Here's my start.

Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-grumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before.

~Shel Silverstein